It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize