my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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