Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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