so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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