Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
