4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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