My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
