Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
