Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
is wine microwaveable?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
