do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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