Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
