No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
there is glitter all over my balls
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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