Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
