My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
