it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
