Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
