after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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