the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
