She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
