I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
