I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
