What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
