I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
