I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
