Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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