Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
