i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
