Need sex. Gaining weight.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
