glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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