I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
