My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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