Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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