The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
