2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I deserve this hangover.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
