Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
