When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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