We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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