Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
