So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You don't make any sense
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