It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
