HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
