I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
