Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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