Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
