Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
