I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
