do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
