They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
