When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
