why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
