On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
