Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
