that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
