my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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