and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize