There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
