yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
