Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
