Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
