vagina is talking i cant
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
