How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
