Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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