I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
