We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
