Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
