There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
