Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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