And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
