Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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